No doubt, some will find this funny.  In all likelihood, some will find this offensive.  Possibly, some will find this insightful.  Hopefully, some will find it educational.  I am here to talk to you about MEN in America, and just what it is that they are in search of.  They don't appear to fully comprehend the key elements of a lasting, healthy relationship.  I'll be the first to admit that I don't always get it "right", myself, but maybe if I weren't dodging them all the time, I could do a little better.

On a daily basis, some strange man (and at times, many strange men), calls me "Mommy".  "Hey, Mommy !!!  What's up?"  "Mommy, can you spare a dollar?"  "Mommy, where is the laundromat?"  "Mommy, can I have a piece of you?"  "Mommy, how do you spell (any given word)?"  Here in Florida, it appears to be the standard calling card of all women.  Men don't often take a moment spare a brain cell for my name.  That's too much trouble, I suppose.  They never ask for a date.  That would cost them a dollar, and, of course....they are waiting for Mommy to pay for it.  They rarely hold a door open for a lady anymore.  They skip in line at any given store, or at the bus stops.  They walk up, and hover over my shoulder, waiting for me to acknowledge and entertain them, as though it is my duty, of course. 

Orlando is a very diverse place, with oodles of nationalities and cultures.  In my patient observations, this dilemma is not nearly limited to any given stereotype, except for "men".  These men are American-born, Jamaican, Haitian, Latino, Indian, Russian, et al....  Now....... I would love to be objective about this.  It would be nice to be able to not fault them for their faulty educations, and I might could, if I did not so often find myself the object of their attentions.  It's IRRITATING.  I have no sons, yet, for all justifiable causes, it appears that I have many.  It seems as though they look for women to look up to, but they always end up being badly behaved, foul-mouthed brats with serious attitude problems that often includes excessive drinking.  Really, fellas?

To be fair, there are 2 that do not appear to have this dysfunction, one of which has had a beer in his hand every day this week, the other of which has one topic to talk about....that being his ex-wife.  Okay..... Just where could I possibly go with that?  And why would I want to?

I don't like being a bitch.  It's not my nature.  I am a sincere, honest, intelligent, compassionate, employed individual who minds her own business (faithfully), steers as clear as I possibly can of strangers, and all these poor, pitiful, lonely menfolks who are simply "lost" is something I find to be very sad and disturbing.  With that said, I'm not all that interested in becoming whatever it is they might be seeking, and there doesn't appear to be a way to diplomatically say "I'm not interested" or "No, thank you" or "Ummmm... NO".....  It would be nice to have a way to do this without hurting their little feelings, but I'm not seeing one.

So, I am curious.  Ladies?  Is this something you often encounter, and how to you handle it gracefully without making enemies?  And men?  WTF?  Are you one of those who harasses a woman until she just says yes to get it over with?  Where are all the charming, thoughtful, delightful, giving male critters who don't have these sorts of co-dependency breakdowns?

*disclaimer

The intent of this article is not to invite dating invitations, or to pick fights.  I just need to know what to do with all these guys who have lost their mommies' and are in search of replacements.  The ages range from 15 - 75, and it's an average of about 8 of 10 men....